split

it comes in fluctuating forms
a small picture being noticed
a comment on a website
and the foam rushes to the sands
bringing moisture and relief
but also ache.

that little something he had
perfect strangers see in us.
and yet, as hard as i try
i cannot find him in me.
only the freckles on my shoulders
that you can barely see,
mark me as his.

an ending without explanation
i feel robbed.
i wish i knew for certain.
because the thought of his sadness
would very well end me.
thats probably why i do not know for sure.

the night fills my vision,
i swerve in the mountains
and my heart races.
death is so much closer now.

the woods inflate my lungs,
i stumble across the wooden bridge,
remembering the love conversation on the bench in the bend.
the possibility is so much further now.

the sofa in the cafe supports my back,
i curl into a small ball,
while reading my book.
i am alone and firm.