For years they were brick walls
I wandered and stumbled the streets
Lying with confidence and self-control
But my heart ate away at the flesh of my hands
like a sun slowly melting wax
Begging to be released and seen
So I placed a veil over my glowing orb
and showed it frantically to the first person who approached
but the veil and my lies kept me safe
and removed. The first person was gone
within a beat.
I lied and said I didn't regret.
But I do.
I would visit Dr. Mierzwiak if I could.
My little sphere pulsating with longing,
I continued on and attempted
Amidst indecisive boys and excruciating dates.
Then you appeared,
and I immediately liked the back of you.
I pursued and orchestrated,
and emasculated.
You were sweet and left me flowers.
I took the veil off of my light.
And you held my hand, gazing at me with steady eyes.
I let it roll into your hands.
My tender star, gently sunning the insides of your palms.
At first you held it delicately,
even more gingerly than I ever did.
I was in awe and had
momentary relief for my raw fingers.
As time went on,
you forgot what you held captive.
I knew eventually
it would return,
biting at my skin.
I didn't foresee it
shattering to pieces.
Glowing shards line the undersides of your feet.
I hope they burn and cut.
And I walk these streets, with a void.
I earn my blisters with each risk I take,
they slowly crawl up my legs
from my feet,
over my hips, between my breasts
and settle into my ribs.
Each day they combine and grow.
And tomorrow, it will glow.
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